Informal Guide to Bringing

Your Elderly Parents to Israel

By Fern Allen

Email: [email protected]

© Fern Allen

This Guide is dedicated to the memory of my dear father, Philip Allen (Shmaryahu Pinchas ben Yisrael ve Hinda Chaya, zichrono livracha), who lived with us in Jerusalem during the last year of his life, and passed from this world on Tisha Ba’av, 5767. I’ve created this Guide to assist others who are considering bringing their elderly parents to Israel, in order to ease the process for all concerned. I learned a lot by bringing my dad here, and it is my pleasure to share these insights with you.

The Guide is also in honor of my in-laws, Micheline and Marc Ratzersdorfer. When my mother-in-law’s mother was in her 90s, and became unable to live independently, my in-laws took her into their home and cared for her until she passed away at age 101. My in-laws themselves were in their 70s and 80s at the time.

If you have any insights/information that you feel would benefit to others, please email them to me at [email protected], and I will consider incorporating them into this Guide.

If you feel you have benefited from this Guide, and want to express your gratitude, please make a donation to Melabev, at: P.O. Box 3235, Jerusalem 91031.

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Disclaimer: The author, Fern Allen, makes no warranty, representation or undertaking whether expressed or implied, and does not assume any legal liability, whether direct or indirect, or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided. This guide is not an official reference source and should not be relied upon for that purpose. Information contained in this guide is for general education only. This guide provides links to web sites and organizations that may be useful or of interest to users. These are for informational purposes only, and their inclusion does not imply endorsement of any vendor, product or service.

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Table of Contents

Introduction

Coping

Aliyah

Making Aliyah Arrangements

Nefesh B’Nefesh

Interior Ministry and Absorption Ministry

Legal

Living Arrangements

Living with you

Living in their own apartment

Nursing homes and Assisted Living Residences that Cater to the Elderly

Yad Sarah

Bituach Leumi

Medical Coverage

Which Kupat Cholim plan is best for the elderly?

Good to know…

Social Frameworks: What will my parent do all day?

Melabev

AACI

OU Center

Yeshivot

Foreign Workers

General info

When interviewing a foreign worker

Questions to ask during the interview with the foreign worker

Talk to several candidates

Where to find foreign workers

Short-term Private Nursing Care

Terem

End of Life

Chevra Kaddisha

Tombstone

▪ Introduction

Jewish tradition emphasizes that taking care of a parent is a tremendous mitzvah. As the Talmud in Shabbat 127a says: “These are the fruits a person enjoys in this world, and continues to enjoy them in the World to Come. They are: honoring one’s parents…”

This is particularly true when the elderly have diminished physical and mental capacity, and are confronting their own mortality. But the task of taking care of them need not feel overwhelming. It is my hope that this guide will give you reassurance, save you time and unnecessary aggravation, and give you precious quality time to spend with your loved one.

(Note: This Guide is very Jerusalem-oriented. Services for the aged might vary significantly in other parts of the country.)

■ Coping

While it’s a great mitzvah to take care of an aging parent, and to bring them to Israel, do not underestimate the time and energy it will demand of you, the child/caretaker. You are their advocate, in every sense of the word – especially if your parent doesn’t know Hebrew and is unfamiliar with the Israeli system. You have to remain flexible, even though you may have to hold down a job at the same time, and have demands of your own family.

My advice: Get as much help as possible. Galvanize your family members. Take “time out” for yourself, and your spouse. Set aside time to go out for a nice dinner, or just go for a walk. Take a weekend away for you and your spouse. Try to network with other people who have brought their parents here.

Feel free to contact me, and I will try to offer whatever extra advice I can.

▪ Aliyah

The scenario is common: Your elderly parent is managing fine on their own, and suddenly they face a health crisis that necessitates intervention on a child’s part. The problem is that you have made your life in Israel, and then the difficult decision is made: it’s time to bring your parent to Israel, so you can keep a close eye on their physical and emotional needs. The elderly need an advocate; someone to make the hard decisions for them. A caretaker cannot do this for them, or replace a child/relative.

It is very important to have your parent formally make aliyah, as one of the benefits is a guarantee of receiving full health coverage, no matter what the pre-existing condition. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a policy from abroad will cover them in Israel. Traveler’s health insurance can be very costly, and may not cover pre-existing conditions. Medicare coverage doesn’t cover a person when they are abroad. Check your parent’s policy carefully if they have other private insurance policies, and see what it covers — and for how long — if the person is abroad.

•  
  • Making Aliyah Arrangements

•  

  In the US and Canada, a tik (file) is no longer opened with the Jewish Agency. There is a new “one-stop-shop,” whereby potential Olim fill out only one application for Aliyah. The application can either be received through the Nefesh B’Nefesh (NBN) office, or can be downloaded from the NBN website, or even completed on their website. (https://www.nbn.org.il; tel: Israel 02-659-5700; tel: North America 1-866-4-ALIYAH, 1-(866)- 425-4924)

•  

  Try to minimize shlepping your elderly parent down; find out when they absolutely need to come down for an interview. This year, the interview is a joint effort with both the Jewish Agency and NBN participating. There is no reason for someone, especially an elderly person, to come in for more than one interview.

•  

  For those making aliyah from other countries, contact your local Aliyah Office and speak with a shaliach.

•  

  The aliyah process can be quick and easy, provided you have all the necessary documents in order. (It took us only 4 days to bring my dad over to Israel!)
  

•  

  You will need original documents to get the process started:

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  •  
    •  
      • • Birth Certificate – Original
        • Marriage Certificate – Original (if both parents are still alive)
        • Divorce Decree – Original (if relevant)
        • Death Certificate of Spouse – Original
        • Letter from your rabbi confirming that he/she knows you are Jewish, born of a Jewish mother or a conversion certificate – Original
      • You may be asked to provide a letter from your parent’s doctor indicating your parent’s medical condition.

•  

  It is very important to provide the original documents as noted above. Aliyah officials are very strict about this.

•  

  Note that your parent will be given a free one-way plane ticket to Israel. Make sure to order a wheelchair! (Even if your parent says they don’t need it!) This will make things a lot easier for them at the airport…and you!

•  
  •  
    • Nefesh B’Nefesh (NBN)

•  

  https://www.nbn.org.il; Israel tel: 02-659-5700; North America tel:
  1-866-4-ALIYAH, 1-(866)- 425-4924; United Kingdom tel: 0800-075-7200

This fabulous organization streamlines a lot of the aliyah process. It is now the primary address for aliyah from North America. NBN will assist you with all aspects of the aliyah planning, including arranging a flight for your parent. Your parent will have a choice of joining an NBN charter flight, participating in group flight (a block of 50-100 Olim traveling together on a regular El Al flight), or flying independently. You may consult with an NBN social worker on the phone, meet with her in person, or communicate by email.

•  

  NBN also offers financial assistance. You will have to complete a one-page affidavit, signed by an accountant, in order to qualify.

Word of Advise: If your parents are still living abroad, it’s a good idea for you to have Power of Attorney in their country of origin, so you can manage their bank accounts, sale of their home, bills, etc. Make sure to arrange this even if you are not at the point of bringing your parent(s) to Israel. Use the POA so you can have access to your parent’s foreign bank accounts in the U.S. (or their country of origin), and get online access to their accounts. This way you can manage their finances, pay bills in Israel, etc. Also, if your parent is still maintaining a home abroad, set up online accounts with utility companies, etc., so these can be paid online as well.

▪ Misrad HaPnim and Misrad HaKlita (Interior Ministry and Absorption Ministry

When you arrive at the airport and go up to the Absorption Ministry offices, a ministry official will inform you how long to wait until you can go to the Interior Ministry to get a permanent teudat zehut. You need an official teudat zehut with a picture, in order to set up bank accounts.

At the airport, you will get a lot of brochures with very valuable information. Save these for reference!

Also, once you have a bank account set up for your parent at a local bank, make an appointment with an Absorption Ministry official in order to arrange for immigrant funds to be transferred there.

▪ Legal

After your parent has a teudat zehut (with picture), it is important to set up an appointment with a lawyer as soon as possible. Having these documents set up will save you time and aggravation.

•  
  • Power of Attorney (PoA)
  • Living Will (Do Not Resuscitate): Important to have with you in case your parent needs to go to the hospital.
  • Will in Israel: This will expedite probating procedures and save you a lot of headaches.
  • Banking Power of Attorney
    • You need a special PoA from the Israeli bank where your parent has an account. You will have to bring your parent with you to open the account and to sign the necessary documents. Check with the bank if they can provide any home service.
  • Legal document that confirms that you have the legal power to take over your parent’s finances when they are incapable of taking care of their financial affairs.

▪ Living Arrangements

Living with You

When we brought my father to Israel, he lived with us. Little did we know that this would be the last year of his life, and undoubtedly it was a special and year for us all. Eventually, a Filipino caretaker came to live with us as well. Though at first it seemed like a daunting decision, I am so glad we went this route.

My father was a very easy-going, undemanding, and witty individual. That said, having an elderly parent come and live with you is not an easy decision, and comes with a significant loss of privacy to everyone. There is a period of adjustment, both emotional and practical.

On the practical level, you will need to make sure that your home is set up for an elderly person. The suggestions below also apply if you set up your parent in an apartment on their own:

• handrails in the bath/shower and if needed by the toilet
• a special “seat” in the bath if your parent is unable to stand
• a “riser” on the toilet
• handrails around staircases to your apartment building
• Cane/walker/wheelchair – it’s good to have these on hand, in case you suddenly need them
• Hospital bed
• Good idea to have an oxygen tank available at home

(Note: This equipment can be obtained and/or purchased at Yad Sarah: 124 Herzl Boulevard, Jerusalem; Tel: +972-2-6444-444 Fax: +972-2-6444-508; [email protected] www.yadsarah.org )

If you don’t have a Filipino worker living with you, be prepared for extra work – everything from getting your parent ready in the morning and in the evening, possibly preparing everything for them, from meals to personal hygiene.

Living in their own apartment

If you go this route, make sure the apartment is near where you live, and (obviously) as close to the ground floor as possible, or is equipped with an elevator. Although at first your parent may be able to handle living alone, keep your antennae out for any deterioration in their ability to live alone. You may have to get a Filipino care-taker at some point, and “sooner rather than later” is always preferable.

Nursing Homes, and Assisted Living Residences that Cater to the Elderly

There are several public and private options in Jerusalem. While they provide a variety of services – from meals, social activities, to critical care – be aware that private facilities can be very costly.

Most private nursing homes have different levels of care within the facility, to accommodate your parent’s health situation, which can deteriorate. Most have a doctor on call, and have nursing help as well.

Since we didn’t go this route with my father, I don’t have very detailed information. But here are some names and numbers of places in Jerusalem with some Anglo residents, to get you started:

- Beit Moses – Tel: 02-673 2570 (Baka)

- Beit Bart – Tel: 02-569 8811 (Baka)

- Beit Tovei HaIr: Caters to many religious residents: Tel: 02-531 8318; https://www.tovei.co.il (in Romema)

- Nofei Yerushalim: Tel: 02-675 1311; 675 2240; https://www.nofey-yerushalaim.co.il (in Bayit Vegan)

- Neve Shulamit: Tel: 1-800-213-213; 050 525 8061; https://www.neve-shulamit.co.il (in Talpiot)

For a more detailed listing of facilities, and their services, plus many other retirement centers, see Nefesh B’Nefesh’s site: https://www.nbn.co.il/site/kb/questions/119/Retirement+centers+in+Jerusalem

▪ Yad Sarah

When most people hear of Yad Sarah, they immediately think of their wonderful medical equipment lending service. But the organization offers many other services that are particularly helpful to the elderly and their families, including dental and legal services, a Golden Age Club, emergency alarm systems, and much, much more.

Below is a summary of their extensive services. For more information on the programs listed below, go to https://www.yadsarah.org/site/faqPrintable.asp?id=95

You can also contact Yad Sarah at: 124 Herzl Boulevard, Jerusalem; Tel: +972-2-6444-444 Fax: +972-2-6444-508; [email protected] www.yadsarah.org

Adopt-a-Family Program - "Adopt a Family" program sends out specially trained volunteers once or twice a week to give family caregivers a well-deserved break.

DA`AT Medical Query Service - provides a person needing medical treatment or surgery with full information so that he can understand his condition, the various options open to him, and make an intelligent decision, based on that knowledge.

Day rehabilitation centers - para-medical services, physical and occupational therapy, music, art, gardening, movement and other kinds of therapy, meals and social events are provided daily for the severely disabled, old or young.

Emergency alarm response system - A touch of a button (worn on the wrist) automatically activates a voice connection with the control room where a screen flashes the caller’s name, address, medical details, languages spoken, phone numbers of relatives, neighbors who have keys, doctor, nearest first aid station, etc.

Fitness Center for people with special needs - health and fitness center for golden agers and people with disabilities. Fitted with professional equipment for aerobic and heart-lung capacity work, muscle strengthening and stretching exercises, the Center is staffed by volunteer professionals with medical back up.

Geriatric dental clinic - Volunteer Israeli dentists provide a full range of care for the aged. A mobile dental unit now makes house calls.

Going Home - Trained Yad Sarah volunteers – at Sheba Medical Center and two other hospitals – will attach themselves to patients who are discharged and give them and their families the support and information that is crucial to their recovery.

Golden Age Club - The Yad Sarah Golden Age Club, run by volunteers, serves the senior population of Jerusalem to enrich their leisure hours. Its wide variety of programs includes courses in liberal arts, social studies, languages, fine arts, dance, Tai Chi, physical education, bridge, games, Bible, the weekly Bible portion and more. Other services are chiropody, manicure, pedicure and reflexology. Discount tickets to concerts, theater, exhibits and the like are sold, as are pre-cooked, frozen meals at low cost. The club has a cafeteria offering snacks, light meals and coffee, all at nominal cost.

Golden Garden Coffee Shops - A network of pleasant meeting places - for coffee, cake and conversation, films, lectures, and even low-cost hot meals, for the "golden age" population. Some come just for the social contact, to read a newspaper, to be with people.

Guidance, resource and exhibition centers - These guidance, resource and exhibition centers - located in 5 regional branches - consist of model apartments which display the range of equipment available to allow the handicapped person to function independently at home. Volunteers, social workers and occupational therapists advise visitors as to which apparatus may help to overcome their particular limitation.

Home Services Department - Yad Sarah's comprehensive services for the homebound and elderly endeavors to supply an answer to nearly every problem or question that aged and homebound people and their families encounter. Volunteers bring projects to activate hands and minds and raise morale: handicrafts, computer instruction (and computers), work with potted plants, taping and typing of life stories, wheelchair outings, and more.

Home Repair Service - Mobile workshops manned by volunteers bring to the homebound and elderly a quick fix-it. One phone call and the broken pipe, lock or chair is back in working order.

Home Visits by volunteers

Information Services for the elderly - Yad Sarah maintains a computerized data bank comprising full details on all services available for the elderly everywhere in Israel. The information is arranged according to subject, geographical location and the applicant’s particular needs. The program also gives full information on all Yad Sarah’s services.

Laundry Service for the incontinent - home-delivered clean bedding and night clothes for the incontinent. Volunteers wash, dry, mend, iron and fold, thereby easing the burden on the caregivers.

Legal Aid for the elderly - Yad Riva, within Yad Sarah, provides free or minimal cost legal services for the elderly, including drafting wills, property concerns, issues with landlords and disputes within the family or with neighbors, financial matters such as insurance rights and pensions, and more. The service is given almost entirely by volunteers: lawyers, social workers and legal and social work students. They make house calls if needed.

Lending of medical and rehabilitative equipment - borrow medical or rehabilitative equipment free of charge, free of bureaucracy. There are 103 branches around the country, operated by volunteers, lending some 300 kinds of equipment for periods of from one to three months.

Lifelink - Yad Sarah’s new lifesaving outdoor bracelet, complements the home emergency alarm service. On the bracelet are the telephone number of Yad Sarah’s Emergency Response Center, and the wearer’s personal Lifelink identity number. Should the wearer fall, lose consciousness, or have any other medical emergency while away from home, anyone at the scene can call Yad Sarah and instantly find out who the person is, vital medical information, who the doctor is, what family member(s) can be alerted, etc.

Meals and Meals-On-Wheels - ready-cooked, frozen meals at a nominal fee. Meals can be purchased directly from Yad Sarah or via a messenger who will deliver the meals directly to one's home.

Oxygen Services and special equipment – oxygen concentrating machines and standby cylinders of 100 percent oxygen, pulse oximeters (to monitor level of oxygen in blood and thereby regulate oxygen supply), inhalation machines, CPM physiotherapy apparatus for arms and legs, infusion equipment and more. Trained staff instructs borrowers in use of the equipment.

Transportation for people in wheelchairs - Specially equipped vans take wheelchair-bound elderly or disabled persons from their homes to medical appointments and social events. Yad Sarah’s air-conditioned vans are fitted with hydraulic tail lifts and safety anchors.

▪ Bituach Leumi

Bituach Leumi is an important player in your parent’s care. Though no one likes dealing with a big bureaucracy, don’t be disillusioned: The private health care agencies (see below) may help you register and work with Bituach Leumi.

The private health care agencies work with Bituach Leumi. Thus it is in your interest, and the health-care agency’s interest, to have your parent registered and assessed by Bituach Leumi.

Once your parent has been assessed by a Bituach Leumi representative, you may be eligible for financial assistance (kitzba) and for health-care “hours”.

It’s a good idea to have a workup by a geriatric physician in order to have proof of your parent’s physical and mental capabilities. If your parent has signed up with Macabbi’s health plan, they provide a 3-hour assessment with gerontologist Dr. Shelly Sternberg. This includes mental and physical evaluations, as well as a consultation with a social worker. This report will help convince Bituach Leumi that your parent should receive hours for assistance.

A person from Bituach Leumi will come to the home to interview and assess your parent. Make sure you have documentation from the geriatric/family physician, as well as copies of your parent’s income, so you can prove physical need as well as financial need.

Once you receive notification by Bituach Leumi as to how many hours your parent is eligible for (up to 18 hours per week), make sure to use all the hours you are given! Otherwise, Bituach Leumi will eventually reduce the number of hours, and you will waste time trying to convince them that you need these hours (or will need them in the coming months/year as your parent’s health deteriorates).

▪ Medical Coverage

Choosing your parent’s medical plan (kupat cholim) and physicians are extremely important decisions. I am very sorry to report from my experience that most family physicians are reticent about taking the elderly on as patients. Try your own physician for starters; keep begging/pleading/use protekzia, to get them to take them on.

Which Kupat Cholim is best for the elderly?

Deciding on the right Kupat Cholim plan is extremely important. Each kupah differs in regard to services for the elderly. I am only familiar with Macabbi, where my father was registered. They have very pleasant offices in Jerusalem, and a convenient parking lot with an elevator in the building that enables easy access for the elderly.

Most doctors accept Macabbi, and you can choose from a nice selection of physicians (provided that their practices accept new patients). Since my father was over 80 years old, a physical therapist from Macabbi came to the house once a week to work with him for about 30 minutes.

It is important to find out each kupah’s “end of life” care; the times when your parent is most needy/ill and significantly less mobile, and the strain is hardest on you. For instance, in June-July 2007, when my father needed home hospice care, we found that Macabbi’s home hospice service didn’t include service on the weekends. (We were told that on the weekends we could call a number and leave a message, and someone would get back to us on Sunday. Please note that this policy may have changed since July 2007.)

Since we found this didn’t meet our needs, Macabbi instead referred us to Hadassah – Mt. Scopus’s hospice service. In addition to Hadassah’s general home hospice services, we were able to talk to a hospice nurse in an emergency on the weekends. Please contact me, and I will give you my assessment of Hadassah’s home hospice service.

From what I understand, Clalit has very extensive services for the elderly. But I don’t know this first hand. If anybody has more information, please contact me and I will incorporate it into this Guide. I am also not familiar with Meuhedet’s services for the elderly, although I understand that Meuhedet will send a representative to your parent’s home to sign them up.

Very important: Find out which medications the kupah approves. You should already have a good idea what medications your parent is taking, so it’s a good idea to check this, so you won’t have a nasty surprise and learn that some medications aren’t covered in the basket of approved medications. Should certain medications not be covered, find out how much they cost privately. Also, find out what services each kupah provides at your parent’s residence (blood/urine tests? Physical therapy? Will a physician come to the home in an emergency? Pedicure care?, etc.).

▪ Social Frameworks: What will my parent do all day?

Perhaps the biggest challenge for you and your parent is finding suitable social activities for them. Having your parent engaged with others is crucial to their well-being (and yours!). There are several options, depending on the mental status, mobility and motivation of your parent. You’ll need to “shop around” to see what’s the best fit for your parent. Here are some options:

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  • Melabev – This amazing organization provides day-care programs for the elderly. Their services are geared to those senior citizens with varying degrees of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. They have an English program in Beit HaKerem (which at some point is supposed to move to Talpiot), with a wonderful and caring staff. They also run a variety of Hebrew programs throughout Jerusalem, and in Beit Shemesh and Pisgat Zeev. You can arrange for their van to pick up your parent. On a personal note: They were absolute live-savers for us and my father loved going there every day.

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  Tel: 02-666-6198/ 655-5826
  Fax: 02-666-6087
  [email protected]
  

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  • AACI – The Association of Americans and Canadians in Israel holds special senior activities (usually a lecture) once a week, and lots of other activities for people of all ages throughout the week.

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  •  

    11 Pinsker Street
    Talbieh, Jerusalem
    02-5661181

•  
  •  

    https://www.aaci.org.il/pa/jeractivities.htm
    

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  • OU Center – Located on Keren HaYesod street, this organization is jumping during the week with lots of interesting lectures geared to the modern Orthodox population. Many seniors attend theses lectures and activities.

Listing of adult programs: https://www.ou.org/israel/ic/adult.htm

•  
  •  
    •  
      1. Keren Hayesod
         P.O.B. 37015
         Jerusalem 91370
         Israel
         
         Tel.: (02) 5667787
         Fax: (02) 5617432
         E-mail: [email protected]

•  

  - Yad Sarah’s Golden Age Club - The Yad Sarah Golden Age Club, run by volunteers, serves the senior population of Jerusalem to enrich their leisure hours. Its wide variety of programs includes courses in liberal arts, social studies, languages, fine arts, dance, Tai Chi, physical education, bridge, games, Bible, the weekly Bible portion and more. Other services are chiropody, manicure, pedicure and reflexology. Discount tickets to concerts, theater, exhibits and the like are sold, as are pre-cooked, frozen meals at low cost. The club has a cafeteria offering snacks, light meals and coffee, all at nominal cost.

•  

  Yad Sarah: 124 Herzl Boulevard, Jerusalem; Tel: +972-2-6444-444 Fax: +972-2-6444-508; [email protected] www.yadsarah.org

•  
  • Yeshivot – It’s a good idea to contact various yeshivot that have one-year programs for post-high school Anglos who are spending their “gap year” in Israel. The yeshivot often require the students to take on a volunteer project once a week. See if they have students who would be willing to work with the elderly for an hour or so a week. (Keep in mind that these students may often cancel on you, as they have many competing activities that may sometimes conflict with their time slot with your parent.)

▪ Health Care Agencies

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  The health care agencies are a great source of information and can really help you streamline the Israeli bureaucracy. They generally don’t take money from you for their services, since they get money from the government if your parent qualifies for Bituach Leumi assistance.
  

•  

  The benefits of using an agency are manifold: They often will fill out forms for Bituach Leumi (and other bureaucratic forms) with you, and generally will process the forms for you as well. This is a huge relief, and tremendous time-saver (plus they come to your home to do it as well!)

•  

  In order to get a foreign worker, you need to go through the accredited health care agencies. But they are helpful before that stage as well. You may qualify for Bituach Leumi for several hours of assistance, and the agencies will get you helpers for those hours, who will assist your parent with showering, walking, light housekeeping, shopping, and general entertaining.
  

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  • The large agency in Jerusalem is Goldman (Tel: 02-625-1141), and many people in the Anglo community use them.
  • We used Natan – (Tel: 02-500-3841).

▪ Foreign workers

Get a rishayon (permit) for a foreign worker, soon after you register with an agency. It takes about 4-6 weeks (sometimes longer; sometimes shorter) to get this permit. These permits are good for several years. It’s a good idea to have this set up, even if your parent doesn’t need a foreign worker quite yet; you may find that there is a sudden deterioration in your parent’s health, and you need live-in help asap.

General information:

Foreign workers hop from one agency to another, after they have been in the country and have concluded work with their first employer. If you have found a foreign worker on your own, you don’t have to pay the finder’s fee to the agency. Even if the worker you want to hire is connected to a different agency, they can then get “reregistered” with your agency. This doesn’t cost you anything.

If you hire a foreign worker, and for some reason he/she doesn’t work out, you can hire another one legally. But after the second one, it becomes problematic. So be careful who you hire the first time, because your options are limited.

Be aware: when your foreign worker has a day off, or is sick and unable to work, legally you can’t “fill in” with another foreign worker. According to the law, the person who works with your parent as a “fill-in” has to have Israeli citizenship.

Fees: Salary is between $600 - $800 per month. Foreign workers usually start out getting paid $600 per month for their first time employment. If they have been in the country a while, they can get as high as $800. It is up to you to negotiate their salary with them.

Pocket money: Legally, you have to give them NIS 100 per week (this sum may have increased since this manual was written).

Health insurance – you have to provide this; your health care agency will recommend places.

Bituach Leumi – you have to provide this.

Get references from the worker’s past employers! Find out what they were like; how well they got along with the elderly; if they watched lots of TV; how prompt they were about getting back in time after their day off; if the foreign worker got sick a lot.

When interviewing a foreign worker:

Try to get a feeling of the level of their English. (The agencies will often say that the foreign worker they recommend has “excellent” English, but keep in mind that they have a vested interest in placing their person, and the foreign worker’s English may be far below standard.) This is important not only because they need to communicate with your parent, and you, easily. But it is also necessary if they need to call an ambulance/doctor if you are not available. In the event of a medical emergency, communicating properly in English could save your parent’s life!

Questions to ask during the interview with the foreign worker: Find out where they worked previously; why they left; how long they worked there; when they came to Israel; which agency they are currently connected with. Clarify which days they want off. Check if they smoke. See if they can meet the physical needs of your parent (especially lifting) as well as emotional needs (will they become a friend and companion to your parent? Are they friendly as well as polite and helpful?)

Talk to several candidates. You’ll see that there is a wide range of personalities and capabilities. Make sure you feel comfortable with the foreign worker before you introduce them to your parent, since meeting a new caretaker can be very unsettling to the elderly (and often they put up resistance to having someone -- besides you! – live with/take care of them).

Where to find foreign workers

Although your agency will recommend foreign workers to you, you don’t have to hire the people they send you. Recommendations are the best way to find a suitable foreign worker, so network with people you know who have foreign workers for their parents.

Also, contact Melabev Tel: 02-666-6198/ 655-5826, [email protected], and ask if you can go down to their English moadon (currently in Beit HaKerem in Jerusalem, but they may have moved). There, you will find lots (some days up to 15!) of foreign workers who come each day with their charges. They speak English, and are a great networking resource. Also, be sure to ask the English Melabev coordinator, Marsha Donchik, (at Melabev English Moadon: 02-651-6467) if she knows of any foreign workers who are looking for work.

Another source is Janglo (www.janglo.net). Post a message that you are looking for a foreign worker, and also look through their archives to see who is available. (Often, it takes a while for foreign workers to find employment, so you may get lucky and find someone who has good recommendations and is available.) Again, networking is your best bet.

Agencies:

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  • Goldman – This is a large agency and has a large pool of foreign workers. (Tel: 02-625-1141). Many Anglos use them.
  • Natan – (Tel: 02-500-3841). This is the agency we used. They were great helping us deal with the various bureaucracies.

Be aware: Stay away from any agency that holds on to a foreign worker’s passport. It is blatantly illegal, and if you encounter such an agency, they should be reported to the organization Kav L’Oved: Tel: 02-624 2801; 03 6883766

■ Short-term Private Nursing Care

If your parent is hospitalized, or you need extra hands at home, here are some numbers of private care agencies that provide private care on short-notice. It’s a good rule never to leave your loved one unattended in a hospital.

1-700-70-70-50 (publicized at Hadassah Hospital)

052-222-2220 (publicized at Shaarei Zedek Medical Center)

■ Terem

Use Terem services whenever something is not serious enough to go to the hospital, and there’s no way you can contact your own physician. In Jerusalem, their offices are in Romema, Old Katamon, and Talpiot.

Tel: 1-599-520-520.

https://www.terem.com/eng/aboutE.php

■ End of Life

Should your parent die at home, you must wait for a doctor to come and issue a death certificate (Teudat Ptira). Before you contact the chevra kaddisha, make several copies of this temporary certificate, as you will need to give a copy to the chevra kaddisha, and you will need a copy for yourself, to show at the Interior Ministry.

Then contact the chevra kaddisha to prepare the body for burial. All Israeli citizens are entitled to a free grave and burial. All costs are covered by the State. (Be advised, however, that you do have to pay in order to “reserve” a spot next to the deceased.)

Recommendations:

Chevra Kaddisha: We were extremely satisfied with the chevra kaddisha “Kehillat Yerushalim”. Tel: 02-625 2281; fax: 02-622 1757.

Tombstone: We were also very satisfied with “David Bazani”, located at Har Menuchot. Talk to Yehuda. Tel: 050-576-0779.

In general, be sure to check the tombstone carefully for any spelling mistakes, before making final payments.

About 2 weeks after the death, go down to the Interior Ministry and get at least 6 copies of Teudat Ptira. You will need original copies of this document in order to close your parent’s bank accounts, and for other legal affairs.

You will also need this original document in order to apply for a U.S. or other foreign death certificate. (NOTE: If your parent had U.S. citizenship, you don’t have to make an appointment with the U.S. Consulate to apply for a death certificate.)

The original U.S. (or other nationality) death certificate is needed for probating your parent’s will, in order to release your deceased parent’s monies from abroad. (Ask the consular officer for several copies of the death certificate; you’ll need them for various other legal affairs.)

Contact a lawyer for all the procedures regarding probating a will.

נער הייתי גם זקנתי ולא ראיתי צדיק נעזב

Tizku leMitzvot !