By Rabbi Yossy Goldman, JNS
Are Jews exempt from the social ills of the world around us?
So it appears that we are going through another age of violence.
We are witnessing a dramatic rise in violent incidents of all kinds. And I’m not only referring to antisemitic hate crimes or the anti-Israel demonstrations. Random shootings in the United States have now become so frequent as to be almost commonplace. And, just this week, 11 people were killed in a school shooting rampage in Austria. Here in South Africa, where I am writing from, sadly, our crime rate is among the worst in the world.
Honestly, though, can you or I do anything about it? While I strongly believe in “the power of one” and how every single individual can make a difference, somehow, one can be forgiven for feeling rather pessimistic about our chances here.
We Jews often look at worldwide trends and have the feeling, whether articulated or not, that it’s not our problem. It could never happen to us. Could it occur in our community? Would any young Jew ever go on a mass shooting spree, even if he was bullied at school? God forbid!
Well, let’s be honest with ourselves. The more our young people are exposed to current global trends and the more they mix with other kinds of people, the more likely they are to learn from them and even emulate them. I suppose it’s only natural.
Once upon a time, typical social maladies didn’t affect us—or at least, our problems weren't aired openly. Jewish families were always a bulwark, an anchor of stability, strength, security and wholesomeness. Can we say the same today? Or is it a case of “what was, was?”
It is to be expected that if we share the same values (or lack of them) and live the same lifestyle as those around us, then there is no logical reason why we should be exempt from the same social ills they suffer from.
Without a doubt, their tzuris will become our tzuris.
In the olden days, Jews would say, shikker is ah goy, which, pretty much claims that “If he’s a drunk, he can’t be Jewish!” Do you believe that is still true? Is alcoholism not a Jewish problem? I think it’s a big problem. And it’s a problem even in our most sacred spaces, our synagogues. And, yes, even on Shabbat!
Ask the families of Kiddush Club members. Do their husbands and fathers come back from shul on Shabbat ready and able to sit down with the family for a meaningful Shabbat lunch and family discussion, or do they collapse in a heap on their beds from all the “spiritual” inspiration they imbibed at shul?
And what about gambling? Are there no Jews addicted to gambling? I can tell you stories about families in my community who were destroyed emotionally and financially by gambling addiction. This is not a scholarly dissertation, but I saw statistics years ago from the United States that 37% of people at Gamblers Anonymous were Jews. We are only 2% of the population. What does that tell you? Yes, you may argue that Jews generally tend to seek help and go to rehab programs more than others, but still, 37% is a staggering number.
What about child abuse? Tragically, as we all know by now, there are many molesters among us.
And battered wives? I hope it’s much less of a problem in the Jewish community, but the way we are going, can it be far off? I’ve had desperate calls for help from women who were physically afraid of their husbands. When I saw the one fellow, a hulking 6-foot-6 man, I was afraid, too! I even had to go to a hotel late one night to rescue such a woman and find her safe shelter.
A visiting professor here some time ago shared the results of a survey that asked members of the Jewish community, “Which influenced you the most as a person, in terms of your ideals and values? Was it the synagogue? School? Teacher? Rabbi? Family? Summer camp? Youth programs? A visit to Israel?”
The answer, by an overwhelming majority, was family.
My dear friends, the message is clear: The strength of our people lies in our family life. If we wish to preserve that pillar of strength, the Jewish home, we must pay greater attention to our family life. If we want our children and grandchildren to feel loved and nurtured, then we must ensure that our family life provides just that. If you grew up in a loving and caring atmosphere in your childhood home, then make sure to share it with the next generation.
I’m not looking to make anyone depressed, but covering up these problems won’t make them go away. They will only get worse if they remain unaddressed. Let’s be big enough to acknowledge that there is much work to be done. Only then can we save our families from the scourge of so many social ills currently on the increase.
In this week’s Torah reading, Behalotecha, it was the Holy Ark that led the Israelites on their journeys in the wilderness. When it moved on, the people followed. When it came to rest, they stopped and rested. The ark, which housed the tablets and the Torah, represents everything sacred to our people.
Today, however, we must consciously and actively defend and shield our families. If we keep the values of our eternal heritage precious in our lives, then we will have a much better chance of success in perpetuating our historically hallowed Jewish family life for generations to come.
